Subcontinent’s Tragic Love Stories Highlight How We Deal With Love

How often do you guys think about the emotion of love? Quite often, right? Because it is very natural to want to surround yourself with people who love you. But how often are those around you okay with the mention of this emotion? Everyone around us might be okay with the idea of loving your parents or your siblings but romantic love is never brought up. In many cases, it is also looked down upon. It is considered against our culture to be romantically involved with someone.

To understand this dilemma of love, I decided to take help from the folklore.

I believe that the stories that we as a community narrate have a lot of impact on our collective values. They shape how we feel towards situations. For instance, many a time we encounter a completely different situation – a situation in which we would not know how to act. But we somehow know the stance we want to take. This is because as an individual in the society, the collective conscience points towards a certain direction.

Let’s take a look at what we feel towards the emotion of love as people of this region. For this, we are going to look for love stories from each province. No society has ever existed without stories of love. It is perhaps the need to carry history forward with stories of war and violence that we forget highlighting the human side of existence. The good thing is that the stories from each province have been immortalized by singers, writers, and poets.

1. Punjab

I’m sure you all know the quintessential Heer Ranjha tale, which is why I will narrate the story of Mirza and Sahiban. It dates back to the Mughal era. Mira was a jut from Punjab of the Kharal tribe. Whereas, Sahiban was from the Sial tribe. Their love affair began when Mirza went to study in Sahiban’s village and immediately fell in love with her beauty as soon as he laid his eyes upon her. Soon after their affair began, Sahiban’s father arranged for her to be married to someone else. Mirza at that time was back home attending the wedding ceremony of his sister. Sahiban, out of panic, sent a message for Mirza telling him about her arrangement. As soon as he heard the news of Sahiban’s marriage, he immediately left for her village.

Sahiban ran away with Mirza and they hid in the forest. Soon Sahiban’s brothers caught up with them and killed Mirza. Sahiban, as a result, took one of Mirza’s sword and killed herself too.

2. Sindh

The story of Sassi Punnu, narrated by Shah Abdul Latif Bhitai, is a tale that highlights the inherent urge in love to be with each other.

Sassi was the daughter of the king of Bhambore. Upon her birth, someone had predicted that she would bring shame to the family’s honor. The queen ordered for her to be put in a box and thrown in river Indus. After she was thrown in the river, a washerman caught her and made her his own daughter. Growing up, the tales of Sassi’s beauty reached far and wide. This is what led Punnu to come to look for her. He immediately fell in love with her and asked for her hand in marriage. Her father initially refused but he managed to convince him.

When this news reached Punnu’s family, they were outraged. He was the son of King Mir Hoth Khan in the Makran area of Balochistan. They would never settle for such a match. His brothers came looking for him and tricked him into believing that they will marry him to the girl but instead intoxicated him and took him back to their village.

Sassi tried to find her way to Punnu and asked a shepherd to help. He instead tried to violate her and she barely managed to escape. This was all too much for her and she begged God for mercy. The mountains split there and then and she was swallowed by the Earth. When Punnu woke up, he was devastated too and ran towards Sassi’s village. He found the shepherd who narrated the story to him. He cried out in grief and the Earth swallowed him too.

3. Balochistan

Sheh Mureed was the son of Sheh Mubarak, the chief of the Kahiri tribe. He was engaged to Hani, who was known for her loyalty and devotion. They were both madly in love and looking forward to their marriage. Sheh Mureed severed in the Kahiri Army. One day the chief of the army, Mir Chakar, organized a meeting in which generals would make pledges they could not refuse. Every chief at the gathering made a vow. Sheh Murid, who, madly in love with Hani, pledged that if anyone asked for anything in his possession on his wedding day, he would give it.

On the day of his wedding, Sheh Mureed was ready to give up his possessions for Hani but Mir Chakar asked for Hani instead. Sheh Mureed could not say no due to the vow. Hani, as a result, was married off to Mir Chakar while Sheh Mureed became lost in his love for Hani. Several years passed and Sheh Mureed could not consummate the marriage due to guilt. He knew the love that these two had for each other. Sheh Mureed used to write poems out of love for Hani and in his quest for her love, he became close to God. Finally, Mir Chakar decided to divorce Hani so that the two lovers could be together but by that time, Sheh Mureed had acquired the love of God. He said that her love had helped him reach that divine state and it would be impossible to return from that state to marry Hani.

4. Khyber Pakhtunkhwa

One of the most famous stories from Khyber Pakhtunkhwa (KP) is that of Adam Khan and Durkhanai. This story dates back to the time of emperor Akbar and took place in Swat. Adam Khan lived in Kooza (lower) Bazdara and Durkhanai were from Upper Bazdara. Adam Khan was known to be a very handsome young man and Durkhanai was also known for her beauty. Since Durkhanai had no siblings, her father went ahead of his time and decided to educate her. She was a learned young woman whose tales of beauty and knowledge traveled far and wide. A man named Payu Khan fell in love with her without even seeing her. Witnessing his love for the lady, his father sent a proposal for marriage to Durkahanai’s father, who immediately agreed.

Durkhanai, before her wedding, had to travel to lower Bazdara for her cousin’s wedding where she and Adam Khan caught a glimpse of each other and fell in love. They exchanged gifts and realized that they wanted to be together. But Durkhanai soon had to return to her village. There was no way her wedding could be called off. So she returned to her village and was wedded off to Payu Khan. Payu loved her a lot but she refused to consummate the marriage. Payu thought that she was taking her time adjusting to the new place but all she wanted was to be with her lover. Adam was also sad for Durkhanai and went to get her from her village. They both escaped before finally being caught and brought before a jirga. The jirga decided that Durkhanai would have to return to her husband and she did. But soon they both, Adam Khan and Durkhanai, died of grief. Payu, realizing their love for each other, decided to bury them beside each other.

These tales highlight how our land is not short of romantic love

It is just that the idea has not caught on. Marriages in that day and age were more financial agreements rather than an opportunity for young adults to choose a partner of their liking. This notion that romantic love is against our culture is just an attempt to snub a feeling as human as love.

Wanting to be loved causes no harm to anyone. What does cause harm and damages our culture are the violence infused stories. Histories are not linear, neither are they made with a single narrative. Where you find stories of victory and war, there are countless other stories of love and kindness and faith and harmony.

If you know of any love stories of the region, let us know in the comments below!

cover image via wikipedia.org